With college rapidly approaching I’ve been attempting to get myself back into the habit of writing news stories like a proper journalist instead of the more casual/lazy and shitty style that I’ve been using on this blog. Its not been as hard as I’ve been dreading it would be so thats good news but something you care even less about than the usual muck on this blog.
Hypothetical picture of me perfecting my journalistic skills provided by Zoltan Glass.
This will be one of my patented “kitchen sink full of shit and plates with congealed satay sauce on them”(be thankful google images didn’t turn anything up for this) posts that attempts to get across all the amazing things that I’ve been thinking about in my wonderful action packed life. This post will apparently also contain enough irony to cause cancer and be dangerous to pregnant women.
The first thing I want to write about is probably the reason I want to do this post but am not motivated enough to write a full post about. MTV and VH1 are just about the worst television networks I can think of. In particular I’m referring to the way that MTV networks desperately attempts to please both its target audience while desperately trying to not offend anyone ever. This morning I have heard the word “bitch” (not too surprising” censored, but it was done in the most ham-fisted way I can possibly think of. The song was “Shoot the Runner” by Kasabian, the offending word is barely audible so instead of attempting to blend it out they just blank it completely putting a giant silence in the middle of a cool rock song.
Even worse was that later on I heard both the words “knife” and “drugs” censored (Stan and Rock Star respectively), this is bizarre coming from the station that was prepared to show the fairly visceral street crime adverts (which also serve as an example of MTV trying to keep its place as a relevant force in culture, see also the embarrassing anti-smoking ad with the break dancing and unironic use of the term “My man”) over the past while.
The whole thing is just ridiculous, what started as something that espoused rebellion and genuinely completely revolutionised the face of music while also giving us gen-x touchstones like Beavis and Butthead (completely innocent at this point but at the time an equivalent to South Park). Now we have Zane Lowe sitting on a couch with faceless indie-twats while “hilarious” substitute words come up on the screen. I guess I was just depressed to see how far MTV has sunk from when it showed some genuinely cool programs while also showing decent music, something absolutely none of its stations do these days.
Zane Lowe is a total *pritstick*
The next thing that has been on my mind, and in my hands, is that ever present part of the Irish summer – Turf. For those who don’t know turf is a fossil fuel that has a multitude of tedious jobs associated with it. The one I’ve encountered the most of is throwing it back into a shed. Now I don’t particularly mind throwing things, its not as if turf is heavy, what I do mind is the dust, oh the dust, it gets literally everywhere. It didn’t help that I was listening to the This American Life podcast wherein they detailed how microscope dust particles of a flammable substance (corn or some shit I guess) blew up an entire factory and that it happens in silos everyday. Suitably terrified of being exploded I managed to move a considerable amount of turf. It briefly gave me a job so it was pretty nice. I attempted to find the clip of Frank Grimes running into the silo that explodes but couldn’t so have his last moments instead:
That should just about do it for this post, I actually had a lot more on the MTV issue than I actually thought I did at the start. Although I would actually like to say: Those cash for gold services, are people really that naive and gullible? Now have some Chemical Brothers:
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