I found myself fascinated last spring with a show on MTV called 16 and Pregnant. When a sequel came out this fall following four of the mothers, I was thrilled that the two moms I identified with most were to be featured. Maci was a top student and star athlete who got pregnant by a Levi Johnsonesque boyfriend. I found myself imagining how sadly different my life would be had I walked in Maci’s shoes. I think it would’ve killed me to watch my friends go off to college while I stayed behind with my baby and his worthless Peter Pan daddy. To be pressured by his parents to stay with his useless, party-boy ass like she was, I know would’ve sent me over the edge.
I’d have loved to hear from his parents on the reunion show what their take was on them pressuring Maci to stay with their son after seeing the footage of him partying all night with his buds while she stayed home with the baby. I wanted to throw something at the TV when Dr. Drew tried to excuse his lack of interest in his son by saying it was because fathers don’t love their children as deeply as mothers. That is the biggest pile of dog poop I’ve ever heard! Maybe YOU don’t feel that passionately about your kids, Dr. Drew, but I know more than a few fathers who love their children as much or more than Maci loves her son Bentley.
I was most touched by Catelynn and Tyler, the young couple who decided on adoption. Catelynn’s living situation when she got pregnant was straight out of Jerry Springer. Catelynn’s mother April has the gaunt, hard-knocks look of a long-term substance abuser and the nomadic address history to match. April’s latest Mr. Right(now) is Butch Baltierra, a career criminal with a penchant for burglary and home invasions whom she met after his most recent prison release…he is also Tyler’s estranged father.
If the Foxworthyness of having your significant other’s parent as your step-parent weren’t bad enough, the unrelenting haranguing by Butch and April toward the young couple for choosing adoption was over the top out of bounds. The vitriol didn’t stop even after the baby was born. Instead of being supportive of Catelynn and Tyler as they started their senior year of high school, the anti-adoption vitriol screamed at them by these so-called parents ramped up to the point that Catelynn had to move in with Tyler and his mother, a single (and thankfully stable) mom.
I found myself screaming @ the TV everytime Butch or April berated them for choosing adoption. I wanted to reach through my flatscreen to give whichever one was on the receiving end of their diatribes a big hug and say, “You made the right choice, you’ll see.” My heart ached when I saw the young couple second-guessing themselves, thinking maybe could’ve done it.
Fact is, Catelynn would have brought the baby (named Carly) home to a house so chaotic that the infant being removed by Social Services wasn’t only a possibility, but very real likelihood. I adopted a little girl who was forcibly removed by Child Protective Services from a home life very similar to Catelynn’s with Butch and April. Tyler and Catelynn will be fantastic parents when they are older, but were smart NOT to move their daughter into that hellhole,
If we’re honest, had they kept Carly there probably wouldn’t be a Tyler and Catelynn at all, as anyone who watched the show can tell you. Week after week, we saw what a mess the other couples’ relationships had become. The fact that Tyler and Catelynn are so solid isn’t an accident – they weathered the hardest of storms together – giving yet another gift to their daughter. Between them and the couple who adopted their baby, she’ll have two examples of what real love is. Carly will know she was created and raised by people who love her AND each other. You can’t ask for more than that.
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