Those of you who have read previous entries will know that I have little time for the vapid enterprise that is MTV. For me it embodies everything bad about the world today; it is loud, bright, colourful, extremely fast, but has ZERO to contribute to the evolution and betterment of mankind. In fact, it is my contention that modern popular culture, particularly TV, is actively holding the human species back, keeping us in suspended animation while real life passes us by. Keeping us believing that winning the X-Factor is both possible and desirable. Fooling us that Susan Boyle is anything more than an avergely-good singer that Simon Cowell chose to be his latest cash-cow. MTV is the fly sitting atop the cone of dog shit that is modern popular tv.
‘Bully Beatdown’ is the latest offering for the delectation of the cerebrally impoverished. It is a show so tasteless, offensive and flawed that it beggars belief. Ok, the conceit is thus: A couple of wimpy, effete-looking guys have a problem. This problem always comes in the form of some large lump of scarcely-human organic matter, usually called something like ‘Duke’, who has been making their lives a ‘living hell’. Physical abuse, having loud parties, damaging property, refusing to pay rent, are all examples of what these morons do to their semi-female prey to warrant the show’s attention. Now, you might have thought that standing up for yourself, taking legal advice, or calling the police might be a suitable courses of action in such situations. Well, you’d be wrong. What is actually called for is whining to MTV and getting them to offer the bully the chance to fight an MMA professional (and possibly win $10,000) in the hope they will get their heads kicked-in.
The show is presented by a truly sickening individual known as Mayhem. Mayhem used to be a pussy, just like the pussies that called the show. He used to get bullied, just like the pussies that called the show. He decided to stop being a pussy, just like….no wait. Anyway, we see that this contest has two possible outcomes: 1. The bully gets battered and the ladyboys get all the cash, or, 2. The bully wins the fight and pockets some or all of the money. As this is meant to be popular justice, let’s briefly examine what the possible outcomes of this process teach us about right and wrong.
In scenario 1, the more commonly occurring one, the bully is left battered, humiliated, and potless. Revenge is truly sweet, the bully gets a taste of his own medicine and the victims get a decent slice of cash, presumably with which to buy new corsets. This is REAL justice, and, if you haven’t worked it out, if you ever get bullied, the same logic justifies you hiring someone to go and do exactly the same thing, or worse, to the person bothering you. REAL justice is, therefore, the preserve of those who are in a position to hire thugs, or those with access to MTV executives - maybe that’s the same thing. It is about revenge, it is about money. Nice. But is this what the Founding Fathers really imagined for the Republic?
Scenario 2, is even more problematic. Picture this: The pussies call MTV and inform them of their plight. MTV is ’sympathetic’ and challenges the bully to fight the MMA pro. Bully accepts and duly kicks the pro’s arse. Bully departs the scene with a wry smile on his face and 10,000 clams in his back pocket. Pussies are left stood there still feeling aggrieved and now knowing that they are also responsible for their nemesis’ increase in wealth. If that were to happen, would it be possible to sue MTV for any resultant suicide? Worth a thought.
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