Though you wouldn’t know it from their Twitter feeds which are as ambiguous about location as ver, rumor has it that the Jersey Shore cast has landed in Miami to start filming Season Two!
TMZ reported yesterday that the cast was told they’d definitely be headed to South Beach sometime this week. Camera crews reportedly descended on our favorite guido’s homes to film the pre-flight packing routine just as they did last season (footage of which was seen on ‘Before the Shore’).
There’s no word on whether or not Pauly D tried to pack his tanning bed for the flight from NJ to FL. Hopefully, MTV preempted that by providing an in-house salon – because, let’s face it, they would have to put 7 beds in the house or else we’d be watching footage of the cast standing in line waiting their turn under the lights.
Also, did you guys catch MTV’s Fist Pumpin’ Spring Break special with Pauly, Snooki and the Situation? We got to see a bit of their GTL routine and learned that Pauly and the Sitch don’t really know how to do laundry at a laundromat.
We also learned that Snooki and Pauly D supposedly hooked up on their last night in the shore house…though that seems like a bit of a ploy to snag viewers than the truth. If it’s true, Snooki got around that night as we saw her making out with the Sitch in the hot tub in the season one finale…why didn’t we see her and Pauly D? (Or for that matter, why didn’t the Sitch see her with Pauly seeing as how they roomed together?)
It could have happened though. Afterall, Pauly did leave us with this gem of a quote from episode 2:
In a weird Snookers world, like me and Snookers would make the best, like, little guidos and guidettes, little poofs and blow-outs on our little kids.
[lastfm]Stone Temple Pilots [/lastfm]got SXSW 2010 off to an intense start with last night’s performance at Austin Music Hall.
The show was packed with signature tunes like “Plush” , “Creep” and “Big Empty” as well as blistering cover of The Doors’ “Roadhouse Blues”. Click here for more.
Below is a little taste of what went down last night.
Remember when music videos mattered and music artists got as much publicity for their videos as for the songs, sometimes more? I always thought that was odd as it was likely a director putting his or her stamp on the artist/group’s sound rather than the music artist coming up with the idea. That being said there are some groups that consistently produced interesting videos, probably the best recent example would be the White Stripes who partnered with a number of great directors to produce video shorts that were works of art on their own.
Though the video is basically dead since MTV stopped promoting them heavily, there are still interesting shorts being produced. The internets were all atwitter (see what I did there) about ‘Telephone’ by Lady Gaga, which I thought was stupid, and the song sucked, but at least she is trying something (you can watch it on her site). The Gorillaz, being a band comprised of cartoons, have used video heavily during their career, with their concerts consisting of a mix between live performance and projected performance.
This video is a great example of what the medium is capable of producing. An interesting song, a defined style to the video, an homage to movies (looks like the same 70s action/chase movies Tarantino referenced in Death Proof) and a badass celebrity cameo. And really, isn’t everything better with Bruce Willis?
MTV has put their foot down about airing Lady Gaga’s New Video ” Telephone” ft. Beyonce. MTV believes this video will cause way to much controversy, because of the content in the video. Although, MTV believes this video should only be aired late night,other stations will most likely follow MTV and not air the video as well. The crazy thing about this situation is that, when you tube world premiered the video on the internet, over a million viewers watched the video. Check out the video.
Need we say more? (FOOL’S GOLD, SOUTHERN FRIED, DIM MAK, EXPLOITED)
Around for over a decade German DJ and producer MALENTE has released a total of five albums since the year 1999. The origin of his name „Malente“ is based on the fact that he was born in a small town in northern Germany, which is called Malente (since this question is frequently posed…).
The Music: After his first 12″ „Fertig“, Malente´s debut album „The Spirit Of Malente“ (UNIQUE Records) is released in 2000, including the unforgettable „I Sell Marihuana“. Combinig organic 70s funk with electronic sounds.
Four tracks from his second album „No Risk No Funk“ (2002) breezed through to single-releases! The Video of „We Came To Party“ was broadcasted by MTV and by the German music-channel VIVA. Since 2004 Malente got more and more into dirty electro.
Malente releases his works now also MOONBOOTQIUE Records, the label of DJ team Moonbootica. Following the MOSTON & MALENTE single „In The Sky“, Moonbootique over the years release „Washington“ (2004), „Crowdrock/Tight With You“ (2005), „Hot Daddy” (2006) and “Killer Applikation” (2007 wich is being played by Tiga, Chris Lake, Crookers etc).
Rip It Up“ (2005), Malente’s third album, shows his path from organic funk to kranky electro madness. At the End of that year, Malente releases the first 12“ „Like A Freek”. This piece of vinyl immediately enters the top 10 of the DCC and held its place for seven weeks.
2006 Malente presents ManroX: Theme From Manrox“ (Luscious Sounds), and does Moston & Malente „The 2 & Only“ (Splank!), embraced by English mags from I:DJ to Mixmag! Also his first DJ-Mix CD is put out 2006: „Top Of The Clubs Vol.30“ (Kontor).
The 2nd single from the „How Can You Still Stand To Stand Still“ album, again a big seller named „For The Revolution“, is followed by the release of that album in late 2006. With this album Malente is moving from breaks, heading into digital dirty rockin’, fidgety electro stuff.
2007 Malente starts off with two 12″es in the top10 of German Club Charts at the same time! „Killer Applikation” (peak #2) and „Open Secret” (also #1 in www.juno.com salescharts). The follow up “tHIS MANROx” backed with “Sp€nd Ur Ca$h” reaches #7 May.
What wasn’t mentioned before is that Malente loves remixing. Over the years he reworks tunes by Mason, Moonbootica, Bob Sinclar, Coburn, Turntablerocker and many more. That’s why he put together the CD-Compilation including the best Malente remixes so far plus a brand new Malente DJ-Mix CD. The Double CD “Whow” hit the stores in late October 2007. A Vinyl Album Sampler 12” is released with it and in December Moston & Malente’s “F*cked Up” 12” another single from the album.
Beginning of 2008 German DJ and producer Malente is voted Top National Act of the German Club Charts DCC 2007. After constant touring in 2008 MALENTE&DEX hysetric rave anthem “Hyperactive” comes out on EXPLOITED. Supported by Djs like Sinden, Crookers, Fake Blood, Surkin, Jesse Rose, Erol Alkan, A-Trak, Dave Clarke, Zombie Nation.
In october a new more funky but wobbly Moston & Malente on SPLANK! surfaces. „Do The Right Thing“ supported by Tittswoth, Larry Tee, Foamo, Hostage, Heavyfeet, Bassnectar
2009 MALENTE releases his first 12″ “Bring That Lead Back” on SOUTHERN FRIED (Fatboy Slim’s Label). The follow up „Music Forever“ (April 09) which fuses chicago house with rave and raw electro is pole positioning the German Club Charts DCC for 7 weeks in a row. DJ support by Etienne De Crecy, Lee Mortimer, Kissy Sellout, Midfield General, Groove ArmadaDave Spoon, Shinichi Osawa, Peter Kruder, Jason Nevins, Erick Morillo and even Axwell.
Beginning of September Malente&Dex “Lions / Gipsy Kings” comes out on EXPLOITED. It’ll set the tone for further Malente&Dex releases. More House, Worldmusic and groove. Away from pure rave. Supported by Tiga, Fake Blood, Brodinski, Sinden, Renaissance Man, Steve Aoki, Riva Starr, Feadz, Mixhell, Douster, Tomboy, Edu K +++
In October Malente debuts on A-Trak’s FOOL’S GOLD with the disco-ish „I Like It“. It’s getting plays by Pete Tong as well as Annie Mac on BBC Radio 1, massive DJ Support, reaches the Beatport general chart No.1 spot, stays top 10 for 3 weeks and is pole positioning the German Club Charts for 7 weeks. Huge hit record.
November sees the new Malente&Dex featuring Bonde Do Role – „Bangkok“ (EXPLOITED) a fusion where traditional Thai music meets Baile Funk with stunning remixes by Douster, DOP, Freeform Five, Roundtable Knights. Plays from Claude Von Stroke, Untold, DJ Hell, Brodinski, Stlye Of Eve +++
For the last release of the year Malente is teaming up with Jay Robinson from Dub Frequency (CHEAP THRILLS) for an EP on SOUTHERN FRIED: „Do Your Head In“ is pure Bassline madenss and comes with mixes by Sharkslayer, Sticky K, Sharam Jey. Supported by Boys Noize, Laidback Luke, Riton, The Bloody Beetroots, Drop The Lime and even Bob Sinlar.
To finish off a successful year, Malente is voted #1 Act of 2009 in German Club Charts DCC for the second time after 2007.
2010 starts off with MALENTE vs AZZIDO DA BASS - „They’re Killing It“. It’s a kranky stomper that is so far out that you’d have to invent a genre for it. This is out in March and his debut on Steve Aoki’s famous DIM MAK label.
Also there are upcoming and just out mixes for Armand Van Helden, Motor, Larry Tee, Sticky K, Dada Life, Congorock, Bassnectar and Sharam Jey amongst others.
But producing is not his only passion. Malente lives for his DJ-sets where he’s playing a lot of unreleased material and special edits. Solely last year he travelled the USA, Canada, Australia, Thailand, Indonesia, Belgium, Netherlands, Switzerland, Russia, Ukraine, Greece, Italy, Portugal, Spain and more. When Malente is playing one of his outstanding DJ-sets, PARTY is to be expected and no puristic bullshit.
www.malente.dj and www.myspace.com/malente and listen / read / watch!
It’s Friday… ready for your weekend? Because we finally have some good news. And we need it, in light of what’s been a tough couple of weeks for Hollywood. First of all, we don’t always hear the words “grassroots campaign” and “successful” when it comes to TV (usually, people launch them when one of their favorite shows gets canceled and only once in a while do their letters – or truckloads of peanuts – make any kind of difference). But here’s one that worked. It’s official: much beloved 88-year-old Betty White will indeed be hosting “SNL” on May the 8th – which coincides nicely with Mother’s Day. So mark your calendars for some May must-see late-night TV viewing. Then we have another broadcast coming up – this one about some amazing young stars who decided to climb a mountain for clean water. You’ll definitely want to check it out (and we already know Justin Timberlake’s planning to, since he’ll be introducing the program on MTV this Sunday at 9 p.m. ET/PT). It’s a pretty astounding documentary called “Summit on the Summit: Kilimanjaro”, and the people in it have quite an incredible story to tell. This past January at the PCA’s you probably recall hearing about the campaign to provide clean, safe drinking water to kids around the world. As in, that which so many of us take for granted is something that almost a billion people go without every day. Thus, PCA has partnered up with Children’s Safe Drinking Water and a few intrepid young stars who decided to make a difference. In a big way. And it turns out, they really did. Grammy-nominated musician Kenna, Lupe Fiasco, and actors Jessica Biel and Emile Hirsch and a few of their pals decided to climb the legendary Mt. Kilimanjaro (which is the tallest peak in Africa) in order to raise awareness of the global clean water crisis. The group made the 6-day 50-mile trek and we get to watch it all unfold in Sunday’s broadcast. Summit on the Summit’s brought to you by the people at PUR Water Filtration who believe that Everyone Deserves Clean Water. It’s a pretty great cause, and one that all of us can easily get behind. If you want to help out, it’s easy. Just go to Facebook.com/pur and become a fan. And while you’re at it, let us know what you think about Sunday’s movie. For now, voice your choice in today’s featured poll and tell us which of these 4 Kilimanjaro climbers is your favorite.
When I first discovered this show I, as well as my mother, was a little horrified with the idea. Glorification of teen pregnancy came to mind, but after watching the show intently, I have formed a different relationship with it.
It is freaking genius.
Of course, you cannot have a show like this on MTV without some young girls, and maybe boys, looking up to these figures and thinking that they would like to be like them one day (I am talking more about stardom and being on a reality show than the way the characters of show live their lives). However, for me, the girls mostly give an example as to what not to do with your teen years, ie. you don’t want to be at home changing your baby’s diaper when you could be at your schools homecoming game. This show displays to teens the harsh reality of bringing a human being into the world.
It also shows what dickheads the guys you dated and fell in love with in high school are. Last nights episode was about a girl named Ann who became pregnant from her high school boyfriend Adam (I think). He was supportive at first, and she thought that the baby would bring them together (a HUGE mistake that many teens make, and an obvious misconception, as shown last night). He was there when the baby was born, and that was just about it. He constantly would rather work on his car or go hunting for quail than spend time with his newborn baby. Although Adam did not cheat on Ann or get thrown in jail for drunkenness (both things in the previous few episodes), he proved himself to be the worst father and hugest piece of shit yet. Why?
He is the only father to proclaim his newborn baby as a mistake. In a text message. Piece. Of. Shit.
Absolutely disgusted me. He is the perfect example of why you should not have babies very young, as the maturity level is not anywhere close to being ready for parenting. This is what it took for Ann to finally break things off with Adam, change the child’s last name, and rid herself of that worthless piece of crap. It is sad that she had to wait until he insulted a completely innocent little angel to realize that he is shitty. THE shittiest. But, everyone had a breaking point, and that was hers. At least she didn’t stay with him to put up with more of his shit. Moral of the story: If Ann had waited a little longer before pregnancy she would have come to the realization that he does not deserve her attention, never mind her child a.k.a WAIT.
When MTV’s once-popular reality show The Hills premiered in 2005, it was a simpler time. Lauren Conrad was just a Teen Vogue “intern” living at the Palazzo across from the Grove. Her best friend was a still-human Heidi Montag. And Spencer Pratt was merely a far off nightmare waiting to happen. LA was their playground, and SBE’s popular nightclub Area was the scene of many of their nights out.
She seems to be into it. via SBE
Flashforward to 2010. I don’t feel the need to explain what’s happened on The Hills in the past five years, as MTV’s writers have done a good enough job of that on their own. However, as Area closed down last week, I feel it’s appropriate to take a moment to adknowledge the dead bar that gave the world Audrina, Brody, and Lauren Bunny.
Replacing Area comes Industry, a new futuristic, modern, club. Sounds original. Hopefully Industry can make its predecessor proud and eventually spawn some more trainwrecks that we’ll one day love to hate.
Industry is located 643 N. La Cienega Blvd in West Hollywood.
Those of you who have read previous entries will know that I have little time for the vapid enterprise that is MTV. For me it embodies everything bad about the world today; it is loud, bright, colourful, extremely fast, but has ZERO to contribute to the evolution and betterment of mankind. In fact, it is my contention that modern popular culture, particularly TV, is actively holding the human species back, keeping us in suspended animation while real life passes us by. Keeping us believing that winning the X-Factor is both possible and desirable. Fooling us that Susan Boyle is anything more than an avergely-good singer that Simon Cowell chose to be his latest cash-cow. MTV is the fly sitting atop the cone of dog shit that is modern popular tv.
‘Bully Beatdown’ is the latest offering for the delectation of the cerebrally impoverished. It is a show so tasteless, offensive and flawed that it beggars belief. Ok, the conceit is thus: A couple of wimpy, effete-looking guys have a problem. This problem always comes in the form of some large lump of scarcely-human organic matter, usually called something like ‘Duke’, who has been making their lives a ‘living hell’. Physical abuse, having loud parties, damaging property, refusing to pay rent, are all examples of what these morons do to their semi-female prey to warrant the show’s attention. Now, you might have thought that standing up for yourself, taking legal advice, or calling the police might be a suitable courses of action in such situations. Well, you’d be wrong. What is actually called for is whining to MTV and getting them to offer the bully the chance to fight an MMA professional (and possibly win $10,000) in the hope they will get their heads kicked-in.
The show is presented by a truly sickening individual known as Mayhem. Mayhem used to be a pussy, just like the pussies that called the show. He used to get bullied, just like the pussies that called the show. He decided to stop being a pussy, just like….no wait. Anyway, we see that this contest has two possible outcomes: 1. The bully gets battered and the ladyboys get all the cash, or, 2. The bully wins the fight and pockets some or all of the money. As this is meant to be popular justice, let’s briefly examine what the possible outcomes of this process teach us about right and wrong.
In scenario 1, the more commonly occurring one, the bully is left battered, humiliated, and potless. Revenge is truly sweet, the bully gets a taste of his own medicine and the victims get a decent slice of cash, presumably with which to buy new corsets. This is REAL justice, and, if you haven’t worked it out, if you ever get bullied, the same logic justifies you hiring someone to go and do exactly the same thing, or worse, to the person bothering you. REAL justice is, therefore, the preserve of those who are in a position to hire thugs, or those with access to MTV executives - maybe that’s the same thing. It is about revenge, it is about money. Nice. But is this what the Founding Fathers really imagined for the Republic?
Scenario 2, is even more problematic. Picture this: The pussies call MTV and inform them of their plight. MTV is ’sympathetic’ and challenges the bully to fight the MMA pro. Bully accepts and duly kicks the pro’s arse. Bully departs the scene with a wry smile on his face and 10,000 clams in his back pocket. Pussies are left stood there still feeling aggrieved and now knowing that they are also responsible for their nemesis’ increase in wealth. If that were to happen, would it be possible to sue MTV for any resultant suicide? Worth a thought.
Unleash your inner Guido — Anytime, Anywhere — with the Guidofy, a “super-advanced” new iPhone, iPod Touch application based on by the Guido phenomenon inspired by the cast of MTV’s Jersey Shore.
With just a stroke of the fingertips, fans can tan themselves to a tangerine and get heavily-gelled — just like Ronnie, The Situation, Pauly D, and the rest of your favorite beer-guzzling barflies from the year’s most controversial reality smash.
Here’s how it works: Users transform themselves, friends, family, and even pets into well-chiseled Guidos with the help of a computer-generated makeover and a bronzer tool that gives fans the infamous Guido glow. The creators of the Guidofy are winning such rave reviews for the application, they’re already working on a guidette version of the program.
You can visit Guidofy.com for more information. To download the application, visit iTunes.Apple.com.
Anyone who did not grow up in the 1970’s or 1980’s would probably not even know what K-Tel Albums were.
If you grew up in that era, you had a lot of music filling the airwaves…..but very few options on how you could actually own particular songs.
If you had a favorite song…
You could go out and by the whole album in which the song appears…..but if you were like me, you were too cheap to buy a whole album for 1 or 2 songs that you liked, seeing as how you would be stuck with 10-12 other songs that you could not have cared less about.
You could buy a 45-RPM Single record of the song. These were easy enough, but buy enough .45’s and they start piling up all over the house, and having to go to the record player to change the dang record every 3-4 minutes was a real pain in the butt, especially for a World-Class lazy person like myself.
You could get your Ghetto-Blaster or Stereo System with the built-in cassette deck, and you could sit patiently by the radio, waiting for your favorite song to come on, at which point you could manually record it, along with endless chatter by the DJ at the beginning and end of the song in question.
When all those options were not enough, you had K-TEL.
K-Tel Records was a company that produced music albums from the early 1970’s to the mid 1980’s and beyond (Well beyond..). They were the “Mix-Tape” Kings of Record Albums, producing inexpensive Albums which contained a variety of the popular songs of the day. Musically, they were all over the place….. A typical K-Tel Album might feature everything from Barry Manilow, to Kiss, to KC and the Sunshine Band, to Engelbert Humperdinck, all on the same album.
Every K-Tel collection that was ever released was billed as “the greatest collection of hits EVER!!”…..
With such a variety of music, you might only like 10 of the 15-20 songs on the album, but price-wise, it was still the best route to go if you were too cheap to buy an artist’s entire album.
The audio quality of the songs were not always the greatest as the songs were heavily compressed to fit as many songs onto an album as possible. In some cases, songs were actually shortened in order to squeeze in more music.
Think of them as the “Dollar General” of Album production during the 1970’s….
I was heavily into the taping songs off the radio onto cassette tapes myself, but I did own quite a few albums, and a bunch of them were K-Tel Albums.
The company imploded during the DOT.COM bubble of the late 1980’s…..but did not die….
K-Tel International is based in Winnipeg, Canada and is still cranking out music compilations, often under the “As Seen on TV” logo.
If you are shopping in your local “Dollar General” or some other low-end retailer, and you see an amazing collection of modern music at too good of a price to be true……you are probably looking at a K-Tel product.
But, they are still going strong…..bringing inexpensive, cheap music to tightwads around the World!
Former So You Think You Can Dance Canada contestant Romina D’Ugo been dancing for her life since she was a small girl. She does it yet again, this time as the aspiring dancer/choreographer Zoe in the new MTV, made-for-TV movie, Turn the Beat Around (premiering, Friday, February 26, 10 p.m. Eastern/Pacific)
In Turn the Beat Around, Romina, as Zoe, partners with a wealthy nightclub owner to take disco from offstage to back on center stage. For a review of the movie, click here.
Prior to the movie’s premiere, The Ride talked to Romina about dance and disco. Here’s what she had to say.
So how has appearing on So You Think You Can Dance – Canada prepared her for the movie?
Romina knew many of the other actors in the movie, who also happened to be contestants on the show, thus making the environment more comfortable. Generally, says Romina, some people (we’re talking about non contestants) take being on the show as asset; others don’t. Although she was in the Top 20 and left the show after 2 weeks, it shocks her that she is still recognized. In the end, she says, the show got her name out there.
So was Romina like the character, working a day job all the while dreaming of dancing professionally?
The most regular, non performing job she’s ever had was a lifeguard at age 15. When no patrons were around, she and a fellow lifeguard used to turn on the stereo and salsa by the pool.
Did she ever want to be a choreographer like her character Zoe?
Yes, especially when she was a little girl. She also wanted to open her own dance studio then and become a veterinarian. In high school, Romina was in a school sponsored choreographers’ workshop, where she and her fellow students got the chance to have their works performed on stage. Romina, who considers herself a “very visual person”, enjoyed the process of having to select the lighting, makeup and costumes for her dances. “The teachers allowed us to put whatever we want on. They allowed us to explore the other side of dance. It helped a lot of my performing as a dancer. “
How did she make the transition from dancing to acting?
Romina’s been dancing most of her life competitively and professionally. She was acting during the same period of time but not professionally. “I loved to do it for fun but I never really knew I could do it as as a career.” After college, she decided to purse acting in earnest.
She sees acting as important key to being a great dancer. For Romina, when dancing doesn’t include a performance element, it becomes mechanical. “It becomes art when you add the acting component.It gets audiences to move, to feel an emotional connection.”
'Turn the Beat Around': Romina D'Ugo and dancers at Jason Derulo music video audition (courtesy: MTV)
‘Turn the Beat Around’ has a disco theme; so what is Romina’s favorite disco song?
She says, “It’s difficult to narrow it down to one. I don’t have a favorite…I love all of ABBA. I love the soundtrack from the movie Mamma Mia.” And although she heard the song “Disco Inferno” numerous times while filming the movie and even afterward at a photo shot, she says she never tires of the song.
It’s no secret that some people aren’t fond of disco music (to say the least). So, I had to ask, why the hate?
Romina thinks that anything that has received such widespread popularity is going to receive some backlash. “It gets to a point where people say, ‘I don’t want to see it any more.’” Some of the hate, says Romina came from rock artists and DJs who she says “got bumped to the side” thus causing some “resentment” and “jealousy” and “started spreading the opposite sentiment towards [disco].” Disco, she says, which celebrates the “eccentric,” makes no apologies.”You either love it or hate it”.
What is her favorite dance style?
Like her favorite disco song, she finds it difficult to choose one. “I love salsa but I need hip hop, jazz, and fox trot too.” Romina loves it when a number of dance styles are blended in one performance. “I’m a medley kind of girl.”
Finale of 'Turn the Beat Around' (courtesy: MTV)
We know about the disco hate, what would she say to those people who don’t want to watch because it’s “disco”?
“It’s not a documentary on disco or a story about disco. It’s about human life,” says Romina. “Everyone has dreams. Everyone has issues. Everyone has things to overcome. It’s a story about personal journey not really about disco itself…It’s a feel good story..And the dance sequences are great. Visually compelling. There are so many elements to watch. It’s about whatever inspires you as an individual. For this character, it happens to be disco.”
Finally, what advice would she give young dancers?
Young girls and boys often approach her. They are afraid to be themselves, afraid to put themselves out there, their souls on display. Romina tells them that they must do it for the audience. “When you are on stage, in movies, or in theater, people see you live full lives, lives that they can’t necessarily live because they have shielded themselves,” says Romina.
“You have to make [your work as a dancer] about personal growth [as well as developing your technique], ” says Romina. “If you don’t add that element, like I said before, it becomes mechanical. When people go to the theater, they want to see your soul; they want to live through you.”
She also tells them that it’s a difficult task that requires hard work and perseverance. “You keep chipping away at this art. Little steps are like huge steps. I tell them not to give up, as cliche as it sounds.”
So one of my all time favorites–Terry Richardson–recently shot the boys of MTV’s the Jersey Shore for an upcoming issue of Interview magazine. A few of the, presumably unused, shots can be seen on Richardson’s web diary*. Bar Refaeli is also rumored to appear in the shoot, which is strange because I never took her for a boob-sling wearing, techno loving, foul-mouthed “guido” but I’ve been wrong before. Lord knows Leonardo is all about the G.T.L. Or not.
Long story short, Terry Richardson is a boss and Mike “The Situation” may or may not have a severe case of razor burn. Less G.T.L more shaving cream, Mikey.
I’ve been having a lot of really crazy dreams lately. I’m not sure what they mean or if they are meant to mean anything at all but I’ve been thinking that maybe I could write some kind of fantastical story from them one day. That is, if I can be bothered to add that to my long list of “stuff I’d really love to do that I never have time for!”
Anyways, I had one dream the other night that felt a bit like a monster horror film. The first part of the dream is a little blurry but I do remember the part where myself and a group of friends were trying desperately to trap a pterodactyl in a dungeon and set it on fire.
This isn't a real pterodactyl by the way... duh!
Goodness knows why I was dreaming about a pterodactyl but it was pretty scary. It was jet black with bright glowing red eyes and no matter how much I tried to prod the thing into this little dungeon, it kept trying it squeeze-out. At one point, I almost set it alight but it wriggled away. It was enormous!
Enough of my crazy dreams… I finally got round to watching and reviewing Thirst. I was in a bit of a reviews-based mood on Monday so I ended-up reviewing Up on DVD as well. Thirst was ok and Up is just amazing.
My review of Thirst
My review of Up
Next week I may review Jennifer’s Body on DVD although I’m unsure how much I’ll actually enjoy it. I’m sure my boyfriend will get some kind of enjoyment from that one (Megan Fox *ahem*)!
I’m currently writing this blog with MTV Two blaring in the background. It’s Fall Out Boy’s Top 20 Comedy Videos. “Stacy’s Mom” by Fountains of Wayne is really bizarre. I mean, Rachel Hunter doing a kinky lap-dance for what is, essentially, a really wee boy is a bit odd. Ah, good old MTV eh? I’m no prude and I do enjoy my fair share of musical MacDonald’s-for-the-ears once in a while, but I guess, it just seems bit too much sometimes.
We’re gearing-up to do our first gig of the year this Friday – These Monsters album launch. Everything seems to be in hand, which unnerves me slightly as something mostly always goes wrong. We shall see. I’m really looking forward to this show though and the bands are really ace plus most of our friends should be down – Friday night party!
Well, this blog post was just a mere distraction from actual work. I better get back to it. Hopefully no more dreams of weird, scary pterodactyls tonight!
Snooki Posts Sexy Pics of Herself in Bikini, Ignores Nude Photo Rumors
Us Weekly
The Jersey Shore’s Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi has no problem stripping down on Twitter.
Snooki, 21, posted two pics of herself cavorting in a skimpy bikini on the microblogging site within the past 24 hours.
“me last year! i cannot wait to start training tomorrow! motivation to get back into shape jeezeeee nicole,” she wrote in one caption. Said another, “Training tomorrow Yes, Yes, Yes!! Gettin that ipod set!”
One topic she’s surprisingly quiet on?
Those rumors that it’s really her in those nude pics circulating the Web, despite the wall color and furniture appearing to be the same as her bikini pics.
On Monday, a new graphic photo of Snooki hit NakedSnooki.com. A photo purported to be her crawling nude on all fours was published Friday.
Breaking News…Snooki Naked Photos Released…See Real Nude Photo!!!
“bids actually coming in fast and furious. well up into the 5 figs at this point. some buyers just wanted to see more…” read a message posted on NakedSnooki’s Twitter.
More than 500,000 visitors have checked out NakedSnooki.com since Friday, the site boasts.
I grew up watching videos on MTV. I’m not shocked by this news since they haven’t played a video since Clinton was in office. It is a bit depressing to see them put the official nail in the coffin. I guess they now have full reign at as much shitty reality programming without criticism from the people that remembered when they were music television. Bravo MTV. Now get to work on the next season of the Jersey Shore (kidding cause your station sucks ass).
According to The Wrap, MTV dropped the “Music Television” tagline from its logo. Just in time, we guess. MTV will turn 30 next year.
And you know what they say about people over 30.
We like this quote from the Los Angeles Times’ coverage: “The people who watch it today, they don’t refer to MTV as music television. They don’t have the same emotional connection that, say, the people who are writing about [the logo change] do,” MTV’s head of marketing Tina Exarhos said.
Sorry, Tina, but the the people who watched MTV even 15 years ago stopped referring to it as music television. MTV used to be a place to discover new music. That ended many, many years ago.
BTW, the original image was designed by Frank Olinsky and his team at Manhattan Design. According to Olinsky, the his original design did not include the “Music Television.” Rather, that was one of those executive memo suggestions. Rolling Stone included a link to Olinksy’s Web site history.
I found myself fascinated last spring with a show on MTV called 16 and Pregnant. When a sequel came out this fall following four of the mothers, I was thrilled that the two moms I identified with most were to be featured. Maci was a top student and star athlete who got pregnant by a Levi Johnsonesque boyfriend. I found myself imagining how sadly different my life would be had I walked in Maci’s shoes. I think it would’ve killed me to watch my friends go off to college while I stayed behind with my baby and his worthless Peter Pan daddy. To be pressured by his parents to stay with his useless, party-boy ass like she was, I know would’ve sent me over the edge.
I’d have loved to hear from his parents on the reunion show what their take was on them pressuring Maci to stay with their son after seeing the footage of him partying all night with his buds while she stayed home with the baby. I wanted to throw something at the TV when Dr. Drew tried to excuse his lack of interest in his son by saying it was because fathers don’t love their children as deeply as mothers. That is the biggest pile of dog poop I’ve ever heard! Maybe YOU don’t feel that passionately about your kids, Dr. Drew, but I know more than a few fathers who love their children as much or more than Maci loves her son Bentley.
I was most touched by Catelynn and Tyler, the young couple who decided on adoption. Catelynn’s living situation when she got pregnant was straight out of Jerry Springer. Catelynn’s mother April has the gaunt, hard-knocks look of a long-term substance abuser and the nomadic address history to match. April’s latest Mr. Right(now) is Butch Baltierra, a career criminal with a penchant for burglary and home invasions whom she met after his most recent prison release…he is also Tyler’s estranged father.
If the Foxworthyness of having your significant other’s parent as your step-parent weren’t bad enough, the unrelenting haranguing by Butch and April toward the young couple for choosing adoption was over the top out of bounds. The vitriol didn’t stop even after the baby was born. Instead of being supportive of Catelynn and Tyler as they started their senior year of high school, the anti-adoption vitriol screamed at them by these so-called parents ramped up to the point that Catelynn had to move in with Tyler and his mother, a single (and thankfully stable) mom.
I found myself screaming @ the TV everytime Butch or April berated them for choosing adoption. I wanted to reach through my flatscreen to give whichever one was on the receiving end of their diatribes a big hug and say, “You made the right choice, you’ll see.” My heart ached when I saw the young couple second-guessing themselves, thinking maybe could’ve done it.
Fact is, Catelynn would have brought the baby (named Carly) home to a house so chaotic that the infant being removed by Social Services wasn’t only a possibility, but very real likelihood. I adopted a little girl who was forcibly removed by Child Protective Services from a home life very similar to Catelynn’s with Butch and April. Tyler and Catelynn will be fantastic parents when they are older, but were smart NOT to move their daughter into that hellhole,
If we’re honest, had they kept Carly there probably wouldn’t be a Tyler and Catelynn at all, as anyone who watched the show can tell you. Week after week, we saw what a mess the other couples’ relationships had become. The fact that Tyler and Catelynn are so solid isn’t an accident – they weathered the hardest of storms together – giving yet another gift to their daughter. Between them and the couple who adopted their baby, she’ll have two examples of what real love is. Carly will know she was created and raised by people who love her AND each other. You can’t ask for more than that.
Nothing has been officially decided yet (or at least announced to the general public) but rumor has it that Miami, FL is officially on the short list of 10 cities MTV is looking at to film Jersey Shore’s second season. As we reported earlier this week, MTV also asked the castmatesif they had valid passports so something South of the border may happen as well.
TMZ obtained a letter from MTV producers sent to the owners of Miami’s Mynt Lounge to receive clearance to shoot inside the club in March and April, so now we have an official time period of filming as well.
So will the cast members be fist pumping in Miami next?
It would make sense as March-April would catch the coveted Spring Break rush as well. I can see scores of college students planning last minute trips to the locale to catch a glimpse of their favorite guidos.
We’ll keep you updated as we hear more about potential locations!
Olivia Newton-John is one of the most successful female singers in music history.
She has long been one of my personal favorite singers.
She was born in England in 1948 but moved to Australia at a young age and was raised in that country.
She released her first solo album, “If Not for You“, in 1971.
She had great success in the 1970’s with most of her hits charting in the Billboard Adult Contemporary or Billboard Country Charts.
Though she faced resentment within the Country Music community as a “foriegner” singing Country music, she won the coveted Country Music Association Female Singer of the Year Award in 1974 over the other nominees which included Country Music legends Loretta Lynn, Dolly Parton, and Tanya Tucker.
Her music thrived thoughout the 1970’s and soon she was charting hits on the Billboard Top-40, BillBoard Adult Contemporary, and BillBoard Country Charts.
She appeared in the 1978 Musical Film “Grease” alongside John Travolta and that film launched another group of hit songs that kept her anchored on the Charts.
“Grease” went on to become the top-grossing Musical in Hollywood history.
In 1980, she appeared opposite Hollywood screen and dance legend Gene Kelly in the film “Xanadu“.
Olivia and John Travolta re-teamed in 1983 for the film “Two of a Kind“.
The 1980’s continued to see Olivia Newton-John have tremendous success on the Charts.
Over the course of her career, she has released such hits as:
If Not for You
Have You Never Been Mellow?
I Honestly Love You
Let Me Be There
If You Love Me (Let Me Know)
Please Mr. Please
Come On Over
Sam
You’re the One that I Want (With John Travolta)
Hopelessly Devoted To You
Twist of Fate
A Little More Love
Deeper than the Night
Magic
Xanadu
Suddenly (With Cliff Richard)
Physical
Make a Move on Me
Physical
Soul Kiss
and many, many more.
To date, she has charted 13 singles into the Billboard Country Top-40 Charts.
She has charted 27 singles onto the Billboard Top-40 Charts.
Five of her singles reached #1 on the Billboard Top-40 Charts.
She has released 24 Studio Albums during her career.
She has been nominated for 12 career Grammy Awards.
She has won 4 Grammy Awards during her career.
The video for “Physical” won the Grammy for Best Music Video in 1982.
She has a Star on the Hollywood Walk-of-Fame.
She is a Breast Cancer survivor and spends much of her time supporting various Cancer Awareness Causes.
She continues to occasionally tour and still makes frequent television appearances. She is slated to guest-star as herself on an episode of the hit show “Glee” in 2010.
I wrote to her last year as part of my autograph collecting hobby as she was nice enough to send me a signed photo. A truly classy Lady!
NO YOU DID'INT! snookie from mtv's "jersey shore."
that’s what i’ve decided. if you don’t know who snookie is–that’s Snookie, capital S; she’s an actual person tho her nickname makes her sound like a…a cream-filled cookie or something–you must not watch “jersey shore,” the latest reality (i.e. “reality”) show from mtv. holly started watching repeats of it, then the new episodes, a few weeks ago and honestly, it’s like a train wreck. you can’t look away! if it’s on and you’re in earshot of the tv, you have to watch it. more on that in a bit.
anyway, about that hair. it is. so. high. so high! i keep thinking that girl has *got* to be using Bumpits!
have you heard of Bumpits? it’s this made-for-tv product to boost up your hair. (ok “boost” is an understatement. it makes your hair look like a small-to-medium sized rodent is nesting in it.) ”hair volumizing inserts,” the website reads. “from flat to fabulous.”
here are some photos:
Bumpits: huge, happy hair. these are the inserts.
the result. i really have no words. (scratch "small-to-medium rodent nesting in hair." change to "raccoon and/or possum.")
anyway, i guess you see my point.
so about the show. right, so i was all, “oh my gosh, HOLLY. how on EARTH can you watch that TRASH?!” and holly was like, “aw, c’mon babe! it’s awesome!” and then i got sucked into it merely by being near the tv while it was on and now i have to say it’s pretty damn fun. essentially, it’s about goin’ out, gettin tan, hookin up. also workin out. and doin’ hair.
the cast was on the today show this morning, and they were like, yo, meredith, we’re just a buncha young people havin a good time and gettin tan and hookin up and doin our hair. as for negative stereotypes of italian-americans (ppl have been freaking out that the show perpetuates negative stereotypes about italian-americans), i have to say that if you think all italian-americans are like the kids on the “jersey shore,” that’s pretty pathetic. i grew up with about 95 percent italian kids in north jersey (i love italians so much it’s like i’m half a person when they’re not around!), and sure, some of them are “guidos” and “guidettes,” but speaking as someone jewish and gay (both minorities), yeah, a lot of jews are doctors and lawyers and sure, some gay women dress a little butch and some gay men may have feminine “affectations,” but not all us are and not all of us do. so there’s my rant. get over it. it’s all in good fun.
transitioning a little, the show has helped my relationship as it gives holly further insight into my cultural background.
“babe, i’m really starting to understand you more,” she said after the show ended one night. i thought she was going to start a deep conversation. but no.
“those girls never shut up! they’re like ’ba ba BA ba ba BA!’ [she made the universal one-hand-opening-and-closing-like-a-person-that-doesn't-shut-up symbol as she said this. i kind of felt like slapping her hand down but i didn't.] no wonder you never know when to stop. you’re a jersey girl!”
exactly. that’s what i’ve been trying to tell her all along! that’s my home state, ppl! CAN I GET A WHAT-WHAT! HOLLA!!!
How many of you were up at 7:45 am EST today to catch our favorite reality TV show cast on The Today Show? *raises hand*
Given that my alarm goes off at 7:40 every morning I was ecstatic to find that I hadn’t missed the big news that @DJPaulyD was tweeting would be broadcast on this morning’s Today Show. I had just enough time to rub the sleep out of my eyes before I tuned into NBC to see JWoww, Vinny, Sammi, the Situation, Snooki and Pauly D sitting down with Meredith Viera. Snooks and the Situation didn’t seem too worse for wear having flown across the country overnight after walking the Grammy Red Carpet, but Ronnie was noticeably absent (the Situation joked that he was so excited with their big news that he slept in).
Their big news turned out to be what we already know – they’re coming back for a second season (fist pump!) and they don’t yet know where filming will take place other than that it will be a warm locale, and it could begin as early as March.
Viera wasn’t going to let them slide with just announcing their news, however. She asked them about their “Friends style hold out” for higher salaries (the Situation said he felt that they as a cast felt they were worth more money and should be granted such) and she made them address some of the controversy surrounding the show. While she admitted she hadn’t seen the first season, she’s read the criticism saying that there is nothing redeeming about the show whatsoever, and the cast are nothing but beefed up, uneducated, hair-gelled idiots but that it is impossible to look away.
JWoww responded that she has two bachelors degrees and owns two businesses and Vinny and Sammi are college graduates, while Snooki is working towards a degree so it’s unfair to call them uneducated. And Vinny reminded us that he recently took the LSAT and he doesn’t even wear hair gel so that’s untrue as well.
Pauly D (the old man at 28, as Viera called him) spoke up that there’s something special about the show because they’re raw and real and there is nothing else on TV that really shows a group of young people doing what young people do when they go out on TV so people are responding to that in a positive way. The 4 million viewers that watched the finale – the highest rated show in MTV’s history – can’t be wrong.
Viera then questioned whether or not they really were real or whether their personas on the show were an exaggeration of themselves or a character they became.
Snooki stated that they aren’t characters that MTV created. They’re really being themselves. To which Viera asked if they were representative of Italian Americans and presenting them in a bad light. The entire cast said no, they weren’t representing anyone other than themselves and the Situation added – surprisingly eloquently – that there are a lot of naysayers out there who say that what they’re doing is offensive, but he wants to find a 40 or 50 year old person who can sit back and say that they never went out to bars or tried to pick up a girl when they were younger. The only thing different with the Jersey Shore cast is that they have a camera following them around as they do it.
Perhaps the most telling part of the interview happened when Viera asked Sammi point blank if she and Ronnie were still together. Sammi hedged and said that they were both happy, but Viera pushed a little harder to get an answer and Sammi avoided the question again by saying that she and Ronnie were good. Could it be that the reunion show break up was real?
But the best news of the day was that Angelina wasn’t mentioned at all! It seems doubtful she’ll rejoin the show as a cast member for Season Two!
Hairpoof is having technical problems embedding the video, but the entire interview can be found on NBC’s Web site here. We’re also looking for some screencaps because our computer hates us at the current moment and isn’t letting us upload the ones we’ve made ourselves.
Photo credit: Tom Briglia/PhotoGraphics Photography
MTV has graduated, and now it’s in the real world, it has to work hard for it’s money and it just doesn’t get as excited about stuff as it used to. It’s wondering if it should get a mortgage, move in with its long-term girlfriend, or give it all up and bum around the world. Either way, its tired, and music isn’t its number one priority anymore.
So what do you do if you want to discover new music, irreverent humour, new artists and a plethora of randomness all under one virtual roof? Here’s what you do…Eye See Sound is like MTV’s younger brother and a comrade in arms of VBS, with mix tapes tailored to niche genres and live sessions, which keep you in the loop of London’s monstrously untamed and sprawling musical scene. Eye See Sound are likely to pop down to the Caged Bird Sings opening night to film proceedings, so please take some time to visit their website and find some clicky awesomeness on every page.
Well that was fast. seems like only yesterday Tool Academy 2 ended. Now there’s a new class of ‘Tools’ you can watch and make fun of. However, this time around, there’s a lesbian couple. Also, you may recognize one of the ‘Tools’ in one of the pictures below. In case you don’t, the contestant named Jennavecia was on the second season of Oxygen’s The Bad Girls Club. Tool Academy 3 premieres on VH1 on February, 14. What a nice way to spend V-Day. >>Sarcasm>>
David Archuleta just didn’t have a message for his MTVviewers and fans during last Friday’s Hope for Haiti telethon, he had a song.
MTV correspondent Jim Cantiello is the one to thank for the impromptu song. He posts on the Newsroom’s site, “I casually tweeted that we had witnessed a spur-of-the-moment mini-concert from Archuleta, and within seconds my Twitter was inundated with pleas fromDavid diehards desperate to see the video footage that I had just bragged about. What started as half-joking bribes of cupcakes snowballed into a virtual cupcake drive.”
Jim finished up, “By Tuesday afternoon, a generous group of fans had raised $3,850 in mine and David Archuleta’s names!”
You can check out the virtual cupcake drive timeline at Peace.Love.Cupcake. || SOURCE
David Archuleta Sings Backstage “Hope For Haiti” Telethon, Fans Raise Money – VIDEO
David Archuleta sings backstage at the Hope For Haiti Telethon, (he was answering phones during the telecast) and the fans pony up. Jim Cantiello of MTV News tells the story:
MTV News correspondent Sway chatted with several of the participants of the telethon Friday night, including Archuleta (or as I call him, Archupuppy or Archadorable — depending on my mood). Sway noticed that David was humming to himself before their interview began, so when it came time to roll tape, he asked the “Idol” star if he wanted to share a song with the world.
This should come as no surprise to Archie’s fans, but David happily obliged and treated MTV News to an impromptu (and heart-stoppingly gorgeous) rendition of Kurt Bestor’s “Prayer of the Children.”
Video after the JUMP…
I casually tweeted that we had witnessed a spur-of-the-moment mini-concert from Archuleta, and within seconds my Twitter was inundated with pleas from David diehards desperate to see the video footage that I had just bragged about. What started as half-joking bribes of cupcakes snowballed into a virtual cupcake drive. To donate to the Haiti relief effort, send a TwitPic of a cupcake to @jambajim! (You can see this ingenious idea develop by checking out the timeline on Peace Love Cupcakes.)
By Tuesday afternoon, a generous group of fans had raised $3,850 in mine and David Archuleta’s names! As David would say, “Oh my gosh, Ashley!!”
Impressive. Both David’s singing and the efforts by his fans to raise money for Haiti! || SOURCE
David Archuleta Sings For Haiti, Superfans Raise Big Bucks
Last Friday’s “Hope for Haiti Now” telethon was a smashing success. Not only did it raise a stupendous amount of money for earthquake survivors in Haiti, but it also spread the word that the generosity needs to continue through the coming months. The fans of “American Idol” alum David Archuleta took that message to heart and spent their weekend raising even more money for Haiti in the form of a “virtual cupcake drive,” partially in my honor. Seriously!
Here’s the story: MTV News correspondent Sway chatted with several of the participants of the telethon Friday night, including Archuleta (or as I call him, Archupuppy or Archadorable — depending on my mood). Sway noticed that David was humming to himself before their interview began, so when it came time to roll tape, he asked the “Idol” star if he wanted to share a song with the world.
This should come as no surprise to Archie’s fans, but David happily obliged and treated MTV News to an impromptu (and heart-stoppingly gorgeous) rendition of Kurt Bestor’s “Prayer of the Children.”
I casually tweeted that we had witnessed a spur-of-the-moment mini-concert from Archuleta, and within seconds my Twitter was inundated with pleas from David diehards desperate to see the video footage that I had just bragged about. What started as half-joking bribes of cupcakes snowballed into a virtual cupcake drive. To donate to the Haiti relief effor, send a TwitPic of a cupcake to @jambajim! (You can see this ingenious idea develop by checking out the timeline on Peace Love Cupcakes.)
By Tuesday afternoon, a generous group of fans had raised $3,850 in mine and David Archuleta’s names! As David would say, “Oh my gosh, Ashley!!”
So to @janey79, @karenkid, @momJulee, @BeckyFOD, all the David Archuleta fan sites and blogs who helped spread the word (as well as the dozens of fans who donated money), I’d like to thank you from the bottom of my “Idol”-addicted heart. Your dedication and ingenuity is an inspiration to us all. They don’t call you guys “Arch Angels” for nothing.
Read more here: David Archuleta Sings For Haiti, Superfans Raise Big Bucks || SOURCE
I make my living walking dogs, in northern Brooklyn, just a few subway stops from Manhattan. I’ve been running my own business for six years (next month), and it’s been a wonderful opportunity for me to not only spend hours each day with my favorite of life forms – dogs – but it’s also afforded me the opportunity for mental downtime, allowing me to free up all of my thoughts so creative ideas can flow my way. I’ve written two screenplays as well as several short stories and short plays and have used my dog time as a means to formulate many of my creative ideas.
So, what I’m thinking here is to supply, to the Blogosphere, my observations of what’s been happening here, on the ground, of this planet earth. I’m just a week shy of turning forty-four, and, at times, I feel as though I’m ninety, having entered that old-age demographic of those who just don’t seem to understand all the advances that have occurred in their lifetime. For you younger ones, the internet was not happening until I was well out of college – scary, eh? – and cell phones? No. We had answering machines, with little mini cassette tapes, that recorded messages, and we got back with people, with our actual voices. No texting. No emails. Only talking. It even worked.
Ok, I digress with what I’m wanting to do here. My week in review, as I walk and sit . . .
I never take medication. I loathe the pharmaceutical industry. It started when I used to live in Cincinnati, where I grew up and lived until almost thirteen years ago. In my last job there, I worked as an account service representative at a commercial and web printer. One of our customers did a great deal of printing for Procter & Gamble – Cincinnati’s most high-profile company. The primary contact at the agency was a delightful woman who developed cancer, and while she was on chemotherapy, I learned that a pharmaceutical company was so wonderful and actually offered her a pill, that she could take, that would ease the nauseating and painful effects that the chemo took on her body. The pill didn’t make that much of a difference for her – she always felt awful – but each pill did cost her $100. Each pill. $100. That’s all I needed to learn to forever loathe that industry. I subscribe to the theory that karma’s a bitch and feel that the universe will get its revenge on the person(s) responsible for taking advantage of those in desperate need. That’s not up for me to decide though.
Wow, I digressed again.
Yes, I do not take medications. My cholesterol was high, so I upped my workout regime, started taking spinning classes, ate more whole grains, increased my flax seed intake by over 1000%. Viola! My cholesterol decreased 75 points in one year. But, a few weeks ago, after feeling sick for almost all winter, I finally called the doctor, and after a brief office visit, I learned that I had the beginnings of bronchitis. $49 later, generic antibiotics, six pills, and it would be wiped out. As I mentioned, I’m a dog walker, I’m not one of those who have an overabundance of cash lying around, and unfortunately, I became quite the douche bag at Rite Aid when the pharmacist informed me that my total was not to be in the $15-$20 range, like the doctor had predicted. I was that guy at Rite Aid that day. There appear to be an over-abundance of that guy’s walking around, so when it’s me, I don’t take it lightly. I’m grateful that I am not one of those people where unlabored douche-esque outbursts occur frequently, and I find myself mesmerized by those who have perfected it so effortlessly. But, being human and all, I’m not perfect and all, and most certainly wasn’t at Rite Aid. I wasn’t awful awful, but the profanity came flowing from my lips, and really, what stranger needs that while they’re trying to do their job? So, I went back to Rite Aid, two days later, and apologized to the pharmacist. I subscribe to the mantra: if ever you find yourself acting like a tool, you need to make amends. The pills all worked out, and I’m finally feeling better this week. So, yes, the pharmaceutical company came through in the end, even if they hosed me on the price.
Ok, be patient, I’m getting to the point.
With all that being said, we laid low this weekend. While my health improved, my partner developed a terrible cough, so he got his shifts covered, cancelled all his commitments and rested, taking good care of himself. So, my week in review revolves a great deal around television. Let’s get real here, though. Much of my week revolves around television, and I often find myself conflicted as to the number of hours I waste, each week, staring at our beautiful Sony 40” HDTV. I love that television and those adorable red Netflix envelopes that appear in our mailbox three times each week. You’ll learn that movies are pretty much everything to me – I watch, on average, about five a week. But, over this past weekend, while taking a break from movies, I finally watched a segment of MTVs full-day marathon of their latest hit Jersey Shore, the show that’s currently enjoying its pop-cultural climax with four-million viewers each week. One of my greatest weaknesses is name recollection, so I apologize with my inability to recollect the names of many of the characters involved. One of the characters was excited about starting his new job at a souvenir and t-shirt shop, and the day he was supposed to embark on his career in merchandising, he woke up, with what he self-diagnosed as pink eye. After sharing the news with all of his housemates – which was met with varying degrees of alarm and/or concern and/or who gives a shit?! – he was able to get a doctor’s appointment at 3:30pm. Crisis. His shift was something like 2-9pm that day. After going to discuss the dilemma with his new boss, he learned that he was required to get the entire shift covered. Two of his housemates would split the shift, but no one would work for him until 9pm for they all needed adequate primp time before going out. I think one co-star/housemate offered to stay until 7pm though. This, of course, led to further discussions about the fact that they don’t even go out until about 10:30pm, so the people who wouldn’t work for him until 9pm were ridiculous. Unreasonable even. And really, it was just so unfair to him! No one seemed to question why he couldn’t take over at 5pm, after the conclusion of his doctor’s appointment. That is what thrilled me the most. Oh, and before all of that drama, I learned about the latest money-making venture offered by one of the housemates, Nicole “Sooki” Polizzi, who I learned about somewhere in my periphery this week (t.v. news program, the internet, on the actual show, I don’t know), that she will attend your party if you pay her $2000. You’ve probably heard all about Sooki – she was the woman who got hit at a bar, punched in the face even. I think I even heard it happened a second time. Maybe? Apparently, you can go online and see a video of her bar assailant, sans Sooki, as he gets knocked out, in some fighting ring somewhere. Fascinating stuff. It was all the talk a few weeks ago as MTV had decided to not air the actual hit, but one could view the outtake, on virtually every website, and news program, imaginable. MTVs choice to exclude the footage yielded all kinds of new viewers for their program – a choice that was destined to not backfire. I’m sure someone will take Sooki up on her offer to make her one of their party guests and pay her $2000, even if it’s just so they can touch her hair. I’ve never seen hair do what her hair does. Like the show, itself, something about her hair works, in an odd, surprising way, and you can’t imagine Sooki with any other hairstyle – anything else would just be wrong, somehow. If you haven’t had the pleasure of seeing the show for yourself, it’s worth a quick viewing, even if just for Sooki’s hair. I learned, a few years back, that Halle Berry would attend your party but you’d have to pay her $500,000 to do so – I don’t know if she still has the same offer. Clearly, Sooki is no Halle, but I still feel that Sooki has undersold herself with a lowball appearance figure of $2000. Rumor has it that dating reality show offers are filling Sooki’s inbox, so if you’re interested in including her on your upcoming guest-list to your fabulous soiree, you’d better book her soon. There I go digressing again. Ok, back to the episode. Sooki brought some guy home from a bar so they could totally make out, but to her utter disappointment, he passed out, just slouching there, next to her, on a sofa on their second-floor, outdoor patio, and upon her attempting to awaken him so they could get down to business, which I’m sure would have been nothing short of vile, he vomited – on himself and on their patio. She asked that he go and finish his purging over the side, over the rooftop railing, so his vomit would land on the sidewalk below instead of on their outdoor patio. Vomit is a difficult thing to pull off on television, or anywhere for that matter, but when it works, it works beautifully. This scene fit into the works category. Again, I don’t know why. He, the vomiter, seemed like a nice guy, so he obliged Sooki with her over-the-railing request. We then got to see Sooki walk the vomiter home. He wanted a good-night kiss, but Sooki would have no part of it – as she pointed out to him, he had vomit breath after all. Again, he remained the nice guy that he was and told her that he expected that answer from her. Hey, a boy’s gotta try, under any circumstance. Also, on the episode, on the same night, and at the same club where Sooki met the vomiter, someone cheated on her boyfriend, and she felt awful – she played coy with her housemates and acted like she didn’t remember anything about the previous evening’s infidelity, but they all knew better. They were on to her lies. She phoned her boyfriend, but he cut their phone conversation dangerously short. She learned this after he hung up on her and wouldn’t answer any of her four or five additional attempts to phone him back. One of the characters in the home is named Mike “The Situation”. I don’t know what he did, but it’s funny, the only names I remember are Sooki and “The Situation.” I guess the white kids are now emulating the one-name-recognition success that African American hip hop artists have been enjoying for years. Finally. I can’t believe it took so long. All of this Jersey Shore fun I’ve mentioned occurred in about twelve minutes of the program. I could feel myself being sucked in, completely engrossed by its tasteless brilliance, but again, conflict entered my mind. The last thing I need is another television program to add to my weekly roster. We have DVR, so I rarely watch commercials, which saves about 15 minutes with every hour I watch, but still, my curriculum of televised entertainment could not, would not, include Jersey Shore. It did get my partner and I talking about the phenomenon the show has become though. I decided to name myself The Conflicted, and he settled with a name proclamation of The Problem. We don’t watch much reality television – ok, Denise Richards: It’s Complicated – he doesn’t watch that one, but I do – and RuPaul’s Drag Race, but they’re a must. Oh, and I watched the first season of Dr. Drew’s Celebrity Rehab, which, if it still continues, I’m thinking, we may be seeing at least one of Jersey Shore housemates in one of its future seasons. Oh yeah. Then there was Survivor. We took the ride on the first season of that program, watched every episode, and even then, while we witnessed the excitement of the lying and alliances unfold, I knew we were well on our way to a universal demise, of some sort. I think Jersey Shore confirms my predictions.
Then, The Golden Globes came on. Yes, I, too, got wrapped up in the gowns. When Chloë Sevigny, or is it spelled Chloï? I think they wrote it that way on the screen when she won her award, just before she was pissed off because that guy who escorted her onto the stage, stepped on, and ripped her dress. You could tell she was upset because after her first or second sentence into her acceptance speech, she proclaimed: I can’t believe you just ripped my dress, with an emphasis on the word dress. My prediction: this beautiful line will be shared by many a drag queen for decades to come. I, for one, did not like Chloë’s dress. I think that Valentino is a genius, but it was either the wrong dress for Chloë or just the wrong dress, period. My partner grabbed our laptop and searched, online, as the event unfolded, and even before Chloë’s speech was a wrap, people had already tweeted about how hideous her dress was and that they’re glad it ripped – according to more than a few who tweet, the guy apparently had done her a favor by tearing it. We were both fascinated by the speed at which nastiness can unfold. It astounded us both. I used to dig Chloë but no more. I don’t even know why. I wasn’t pissed she won – it’s not that I hate her – but something about her speech, though, just confirmed to me that I still don’t like her. But I’m a bit off anyway. I hated Meryl Streep for more than a decade because I thought she was a total bitch, simply based on the fact that she had done such an amazing acting job in Kramer vs. Kramer. Don’t worry Meryl. I adore you now – I think you’re the shit! In a good way. This past Monday morning, the day after The Golden Globes had been handed out (Meryl even won for Julie and Julia), I searched and searched, hoping that someone, somewhere, would agree with me about Chloë ‘s Valentino gown not working. It took two days to find one though – everyone had photos of the best and worst dressed and no one, I found, had her in either category, until Tuesday. Wait a second. Something’s seeping into my consciousness. I think one of the sites I found actually had her on a best-dressed list. Clearly, I tried to block that revelation out. No fashion experts seemed to agree with one another, but everyone, with their chosen words, clearly had some opinion – some of which you couldn’t even decipher what their opinions were, for their language was overly littered with contradictory adjectives. Two days later, on some site, there it was. A picture of Chloë, in her gown, and with no ambiguities in the language. That person felt that she belonged in the category of the worst-dressed of the evening. I felt validated, even relieved that I could finally put that online quest behind me. But also, again, I felt conflicted. I hate opening pages that deal with that type of nastiness. I feel that by my opening them, I am contributing to the success of the downward spiral of the human race. (But really, it’s likely that by my writing this blog, I, too, am contributing to the demise as well – but hang in there, I’ll be getting to some points to be made soon, I think.) Sometimes, though, I just can’t help myself. Oh wait, before I continue, one more thing. If you’re reading this Chloë, don’t worry, many other famous people have traveled across my like/dislike-o-meter, just to return to like again. It could happen for you as well, so hang in there Chloë.
Then, on Tuesday, there was that ever-important election in Massachusetts. The Republican won. Health care in danger. Obama’s bummed but takes the blame – now he wants to use this opportunity to connect with the American people. The senatorial winner, Scott Brown, even used his victory speech as an opportunity to pimp out his two daughters. You can’t make this shit up. Really, if you haven’t watched his speech yet, find it on YouTube. It’s an unbelievable train wreck, but then again, it seems to suit our times in a most fascinating way. Again, I’m not exactly sure why. But it was on Facebook, where I read, a friend of a friend had commented: “Teddy Kennedy looks up from hell and cannot believe it. The audacity of failure.” I don’t even know what he meant by his post, but even writing that someone “looks up from hell” was something I still can’t believe I read. Wow!
Nike was the last advertiser to drop Tiger Woods – if it didn’t happen this week, I heard about it late, so it was this week to me. I find Nike to be brilliant in their marketing. How can a company exploit their workers and still have us eager to buy the shit out of their products? Maybe because the exploited aren’t American. Who knows why we accept it, but we do – and they made us, somehow they did, accept it. Okay, still though, I’m thinking that Nike finally dropped the ball with this Tiger story. What they should have done, is to continue to pay Tiger whatever it is that they had agreed upon, and to just lay low for awhile. Tiger always looked so impressive (clean and together) in his Nike – all athletes do. I’m thinking if clothes were cars, Nike would fall into the Mercedes or Lexus class. Nike likes to associate with athletes at the top of their game – Federer, Nadal, The Williams’ sisters – and they’re going to be awfully upset when Tiger returns to the game this Spring without a swoosh on his hat or one across his chest, that same chest we all saw uncovered on the cover of Vanity Fair. Tiger, Spring, 2010, The Reunion Tour. I can hear the advertising sales execs now, already lining up deals with their best advertisers, promising to hold thirty seconds of air time, for the discounted rate of 1.25 million (I’m totally pulling this number from an undisclosed orifice), for when Tiger returns to the fairways. And what’s Nike going to do then? They dropped him – how could Tiger go back to Nike now? It really is unimaginable – Tiger without a single swoosh. Note to self: if I find an abundance of free time, find my friend Melissa and borrow her sewing machine and design a line of golf clothing and somehow locate Mr. Woods, himself, and give him some samples, with the hopes that he’ll wear my pieces. It’d be a nice, lottery-win, sure-thing idea – for, like many fiascos, there is a backlash against the backlash, and there will, without a doubt, be one with Tiger as well. Look at Mariah Carey. We were supposed to love her, then laugh at her pain when she had her breakdown (i.e. Tiger’s in sex rehab), and then sometime around her Saturday Night Live appearance (i.e. when Tiger comes back and wins The Masters) when she popped out with that smokin’, hot body of hers, we were to like her again. I think we’re supposed to hate Mariah again – I think it’s because her breasts are large, larger than they’ve ever been – I’m not completely sure, but I think that’s the reason. As for Tiger, it is likely that Nike will regret this latest decision. Funny how infidelity has become the latest of hate crimes. I just don’t know why we’re so preoccupied with it all. Ex Governor Spitzer was such a trailblazer. I hope somewhere, inside of Eliot, he feels a great sense of pride for being like, any true artist, so ahead of his time.
Other than the occasional Olympics, tennis is the only sport I watch, generally spending only about four weeks a year involved in its volleys, with watching Wimbledon and The U.S. Open. I even go to The Open one night each year and sit high, in the nosebleeds, in shittier seats than our living room. Nadal’s my favorite player – I love anything and everything from Spain and he’s all Spanish – so I do watch at least one of his matches when he plays on clay at The French Open – his craft is most beautiful on clay. But, this week started The Australian Open. Time change is so extreme between this time zone and Australia, but I am able to catch it in the evening and have been seeing a bit of it, but it just doesn’t feel the same for some reason. If you haven’t been following it, the women’s game got a shot in the arm at the end of last season. Kim Clijsters rejoined the game after her retirement hiatus to have a baby. With her win at last year’s U.S. Open, she’s the first mother to have ever won one of the four majors. And if you haven’t been following The Australian Open this year, the first major of the calendar year, Justine Henin, the world’s previous number one, who few ever beat, is back and has already beaten fifth-seeded Elena Dementieva (in the second round.) You may remember Elena from the Beijing Olympics – she took home the gold. So, the Belgians are back, stronger than ever, and the women’s game just got a bit more interesting. And if you haven’t watched it on YouTube yet, you can see American Andy Roddick mildly lose his shit with a referee, even after he won the match. It was only a three-setter, too. Oh Andy! You make it so easy to not like you. Andy eventually tweeted an apology concerning this outburst. Tweeted his apology. Wow. Andy was briefly on my like meter, when Jimmy Connors was his coach, but those days ended when he fired Jimmy. See Chloë, how easy it is to travel across my like/dislike-o-meter?
I’m almost wrapped up for this week. I promise.
Rush and Pat not only stand by their ignorance and hatred, but somehow, through some miracle, that is likely to be financially, and not divinely, inspired, they both have kept their jobs. Bill Maher lost his job after 9/11 – maybe it’s time to send out a similar message to Rush and Pat. Wait as second, though. Is racism okay now? I can’t keep track of it. Imus got his job back. And wait, Rush and Pat are still occupying air time, so it must be okay to still be racist. Maybe racism will be out of style next season. One can only hope.
Before this Wednesday, I’ve only watched about a half hour of American Idol – I watched part of a finale, once, a few years ago. I don’t remember either of the contestants, but it may have been the year of the two Davids. Was that one of the years? It’s something about judge Simon that has kept me from watching. I know each contestant willingly enters their realm, each knowing that bad news could come their way. I’m just big on encouraging anyone to pursue any art that speaks to them, and when people like Simon say the nastiest of comments, just to generate good ratings and a large signing bonus, it makes me sad. I can’t imagine how many dreams have been shattered by Simon’s comments. But now that Ellen has joined the judge circle, I was curious to watch. Apparently, though, Ellen won’t be sitting in a judge seat until they start the next round in Los Angeles. I saw a half hour of their Orlando visit – unfortunately, I missed Kristin Chenoweth’s participation as guest judge. I loved her in the Broadway hit Wicked, on Pushing Daisies, even her guest spot on Frasier – didn’t love her on Glee though – I stopped watching Glee, I know that makes me uncool, but the writers removed everything likeable from all of the characters and I can’t take a ride when I’m not rooting for anyone. Ok, back to Idol. I saw one guy sing Amazing Grace – my all-time least-favorite church hymn – and he was not going to leave his audition without being told that he was going to Hollywood. They had to escort him out, after telling him he had a bad singing voice, and then the poor guy, after being carried off by security, got taken to the ground and handcuffed. It made me sad. Next, came on a 25-year-old who spent four years in prison for robbing a bank with a b.b. gun. His was a touching story, and his voice, and heart-felt presentation, were so engaging, I felt chills consume me. They worked the hell out of his story, and now, everyone who’s ever made any mistake will be hoping that he wins. He did have an incredible voice. A question I’ve had has finally been answered – I now understand the appeal of American Idol. I don’t expect to take the Idol ride – who knows, though, Ellen may win me over and didn’t I hear that Simon’s leaving to go do the exact, same thing on a show with a different name and isn’t LaToya Jackson rallying for his spot and isn’t Paula Abdul going to go with Simon to his show? Really, though, I was surprised how un-dick-ish Simon was in the half hour I watched. I was completely surprised how he only seemed douche-esque a couple of times. It did seem effortless, though, in those moments. He seems to be a natural. Note to Simon: make amends – you’ll feel much better.
Yes, my American Idol question may have been answered, but I have so many more. Perhaps my walking dogs and limiting my human encounters to quick, little (at times awkward) dog-to-dog encounters on Brooklyn sidewalks has kept me from fully understanding what’s been happening. After all, a lot has changed in the past six years since I got out of the subway-riding-rush-hour-commuting-corporate-world-craziness life that I led for so many years. And now, I’m left with the doggies trying to figure out where it all went so, not wrong, but strange. People seem to be losing their shit, and I don’t feel as though I’m an exception – look, I’m writing this and could be out having coffee, interacting with a friend. Texting, tweeting, Facebooking. No one seems to really be connecting anymore – some kind of disconnect seems to be occurring as technology evolves. A friend of ours took his high school daughter to a two-and-a-half hour movie a few months ago, and in the time it took them to watch the three acts of the movie unfold, his daughter got over 120 texts on her phone. I say OMG, WTF and I would just die (IWJD). Hey, did I just invent something useless? I was talking with one of my nearest and dearest friends earlier today – she is one of my biggest supporters who was happy to hear that I’m beginning this blog thing – and we were talking about how we all have more things to consume our days than ever before, so much more, in fact, that the only way to make it through is to make sacrifices, albeit, personal, social, economical, professional, even those involving issues of integrity. We’re all so worn out that we can’t possibly do it all, which leads to an ever-increasing sense of conflict. Conflict is “The Situation.” I think that so many of the answers, even the questions, lie in popular culture. We’re bombarded with so many of its references every time we turn around, and each image, soundbite, cable program, whatever, it all affects us in some way. I’m ready, finally, to see how I fit into it all and am eager to take the journey of attempting to unravel the mystery of our current human, condition? Dilemma? Whatever it is, I’m ready. I hope you enjoy taking the ride with me.
Everywhere you turn, people are making fun of NBC – especially on NBC. You can’t get through even an episode of SNL without three jokes about the failing network. Conan’s leaving now, it’s official, and what did I hear? He’s getting thirty million to do so. Wait, it went up to forty million. Get out! Forty-five million. Apparently, he’s getting around thirty-two million of that amount and will likely be sharing some of it with his staff as well. I feel sorry for the man. He clearly loves entertaining, and money, without the opportunity to entertain, can’t be a good thing for him. For anybody really. Conan continues to joke about his departure, but he’s got to be dying inside. His contract allows him to start on another network in September. Here’s hoping that he lands even better on his feet than he did when he landed the highly-coveted 11:30pm time slot. On Wednesday this week, he informed us all that, yes, he’s leaving, but he’s got whatever budget he needs to finish his show off. He brought on the world’s most expensive car, a Bugatti Veyron, and decorated it like a mouse. As we watched the stationary mouse car remain motionless, the The Stones’ (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction was being played, bringing the total of the gag to one point five million dollars. Conan was having fun with this one as he relayed: “Let me ask you a question. Is this appropriate music for a car that looks like a mouse? No. Does it add anything at all to this comedy bit? No, it doesn’t. Is it crazy expensive to play on the air, not to mention the rights to re-air this clip on the internet? Hell yes.” Brilliant! You go Conan! I’m not thinking that NBC bashing is going to be ending anytime soon.
Hey, this may have been a bit longer than most blog entries. I’m so green at this, does one even refer to it as a blog entry, a posting? What? But, please forgive me. It’s my first contribution to The Blogosphere, and as I already indicated, I walk dogs for a living and have lots of time to dedicate to examination.
So, until next week . . . Adiós, from keV!
P.S. At the end of last week, we saw the Off Broadway hit The Understudy – I think we got in just before its extension closed. Brilliant piece of theater. If it comes your way, or if you’re involved with bringing theater to any venue near you and you’re looking to mount a crowd pleaser, see if you can nab it. Three characters – two men / one woman. A delightful evening of theater, indeed. Among its three stars, was none other than Zack from Saved by the Bell. Time has been kind to Zack, and he, like the other cast members, nailed it!
Sean “Diddy” Combs is throwing a star-studded “Prince of New York” 16th birthday party for his eldest son, Justin. The rapper — still on a high after his epic, “party of the year” 40th birthday bash in November — has lined up a series of big-name performers and guests including Chris Brown for the event at an unidentified local club on Saturday, which will be filmed for MTV’s “My Super Sweet 16.” A source said, “The club will be decorated with images from the New York skyline. Diddy will perform with his band, Diddy-Dirty Money, but there will also be some big-name performers taking the stage to surprise Justin.” Guests will also include Combs’ pals Snoop Dogg, Li’l Kim, boxer Floyd Mayweather and possibly Jay-Z and Beyoncé. The source added, “It’s going to be big, but it won’t be as lavish as Diddy’s 40th. Instead of gifts, guests will be asked to make a donation to the Haiti fund.
-”The BklynBandette.” Mr. Hollywood’s Co-Defendant.
Jay-Z, Bono, and Edge are teaming up to headline MTV’s “Hope for Haiti” television special, which is scheduled to air Friday, Jan. 22 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on all major networks along with CNN, VH1, and of course MTV. Rolling Stone reports that Jay-Z will be performing with the U2 pair in London for the special, and that the effort has already generated a yet-untitled new song, which will be up for sale at iTunes in the near future.
Other artists set to perform include: Bruce Springsteen, Coldplay, Taylor Swift, Shakira, Rihanna, Dave Matthews Band, Justin Timberlake, Alicia Keys, Sting, Christina Aguilera, Stevie Wonder, John Legend, Jennifer Hudson, and Mary J. Blige. George Clooney and Wyclef Jean are slated as the co-hosts, according to MTV. All the proceeds raised at the event will benefit Oxfam America, Partners in Health, Red Cross, UNICEF and Wyclef’s Yéle Haiti Foundation.
Don’t forget, you can also donate to the cause using your HitPredictor points to “purchase” a $15 donation. Check out the details here.
**Yep, The Hills. I know my posts thus far have been “deeper” than this, and there’s plenty of depth and trauma to wade through before this blog is over… but this one’s pretty funny and I thought you’d like it. Enjoy!**
Dear Idiotic Women of “The Hills”… and the teenagers who emulate them:
No it does not always take that one other person to really get you over someone else. In fact, sometimes one can actually take some time, think things through, and get over it on her own. It’s amazing, I know, that a woman could do that, but I swear to you it can be done. In fact, I’ve never gotten over a relationship any other way. It doesn’t even hurt! And best of all, it doesn’t hurt anyone else!
Also, Heidi, Thank God you grew some balls! Apparently they came with the wedding ring! I have to say, though, that I’m of a mind that it’s a pussy move on a woman’s part to act so easily cowed beforehand. I’ve never actually known someone to morph like that. Marrying someone, especially this day and age, doesn’t mean you’re safe to all of a sudden become a whole different person and think that the person will have to stay because you’re married.
Audrina-
You are such a little dummy. You’re my favorite little idiot on the show now that Lauren’s gone, but you’re still an idiot. Justin Bobby doesn’t love anyone more than he loves playing games. He fucks with your head ON PURPOSE and he always had. He hasn’t even hidden that fact from you! Leave the poor fucker to mess with someone else, someone who can fight back a bit, like Kristen, because you’re too damned nice to be as jaded as you seem to wish you were. Also, you tend to exaggerate the things people say to you. When you repeat something later on to someone else, your version is always more drama and emotion charged… I understand that you probably don’t realize you do this, but you do. How someone made you feel isn’t a fact, and re-arranging the story so they said what you felt like they said doesn’t make it so.
Stacie-
You seem like one of those women who never works out because you’re naturally thin and you’re busy drinking Anorexics (or whatever the new hip equivalent is)… But you so need to work out. I can see every night of your overindulgence on your saggy butt and arms. You shouldn’t look like that, just use your blondie friends as a guide. This advice should keep you from looking like the prematurely aging, used up, rinsed out, and hung up wet slaggy dishrag that you truly are. PS the reason you’re popular with men is that your appearance screams “I will fuck you immediately in a public bathroom and not care if you never learn my name!” You ain’t foolin’ anyone, lady.
Speidi: I find you boring now that you’re borderline likeable. Spencer, you deserve so much worse than you’re getting but it’s still nice to see you squirm. Heidi: I can’t figure out if you’re just a completely calculating facade or if you’re really as useless and clueless as you seem. Are you two really going to spend your entire lives scheming against each other and getting paid to show up at 12 year old’s birthday parties? Wouldn’t you be bored? Aren’t you already?
Justin Bobby: You’re a bipolar jackhole who deserves a cork boot to the gonads. Your faux-zen manipulative bullshit should be so much more transparent to these women. It’s a good thing you landed yourself in the city of dumb blondes and naïve brunettes.
Lo:
I love you. Thank you for keeping yourself classy at all times. You are a woman to be admired.
Ditto for the most part to Lauren, though you had your moments of drama.
Brody:
I can’t help but like you, even though I feel you’re a major tool a good portion of the time. I guess you’re just too much like the tools I know and love in my own life.
Kristen:
You’ve grown into a likeable if complex character since Laguna but your constant defensive stature won’t get you too far in life. It’s nice to see you’ve let your walls down a bit even if it is for Justin Bobby. You’re a very smart woman and you’re certainly living by your own rules. Your saving grace, if you ask me, is that you lay it all out on the table. Kudos for the blunt honesty, it’s a nice counterpoint to the machinations of Speidi.
Jayde:
Honey, you’re beautiful. And you are so on the live hard, die early track. Please stop drinking so much and put your drama down for awhile. Please just do it for those of us who will otherwise have to watch another beautiful young Hollywood woman kill herself because she can’t convince herself she’s worthy of a good and worthwhile life.
Dear Bald guy in the background scene of Kristen’s party when Holly is drunk dancing:
You’re hot. You make me want to lick you. That’s all. Just thought I’d mention it.
Dear Holly:
See the Jayde portion of this ridiculousness, but read it with a more affectionate tone because I like you way more than her. You’re quirky and fun. Live like you know it.
Dear everyone else on this ridiculous show that I always find myself watching and hating myself a bit for being so drawn in by:
I get it. You all get to be semi-famous and make some money for doing basically nothing plus perks like trips and parties and such. I totally get it. Still makes you look stupid for hanging out with 25 year olds who act no different now, really, than they did on the reality shows they starred in during High School.
Ooh, just an end note to Frankie: I have a total thing for you not in small part due to your voice and your ability to seem like you don’t give a shit about the drama and to not be pulled in. Good job, and also, you should hope you never find yourself close enough to me to be rufied. LOL.
Unleash your inner Guido — Anytime, Anywhere — with the Guidofy, a “super-advanced” new iPhone, iPod Touch application based on by the Guido phenomenon inspired by the cast of MTV’s Jersey Shore.
The Jersey Shore’s Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi has no problem stripping down on Twitter.
On Monday, a new graphic photo of Snooki hit NakedSnooki.com. A photo purported to be her crawling nude on all fours was published Friday.
David Archuleta just didn’t have a message for his MTVviewers and fans during last Friday’s Hope for Haiti telethon, he had a song.
Jay-Z, Bono, and Edge are teaming up to headline MTV’s “Hope for Haiti” television special, which is scheduled to air Friday, Jan. 22 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on all major networks along with CNN, VH1, and of course MTV. Rolling Stone reports that Jay-Z will be performing with the U2 pair in London for the special, and that the effort has already generated a yet-untitled new song, which will be up for sale at iTunes in the near future.